I like talking to me…

my own best friend rebeljewel rebel jewel

I promised myself that I would try and write a blog post a day. Today, I chose self expression!

With my blog, it’s not a back and forth dialogue with anyone. I give my energy to the world and they either accept it or they don’t.

I found communicating directly with others these day has become very stressful. I feel like I am tippy-toeing with my words. 

Will I be too happy? Will I be too nonchalant? Will I offend them? Will they take what I say the wrong way? Shiiiiiit, will I take what they say the wrong way?

Then.. Some people are ACTIVELY looking for the faults in us, whilst simultaneously training us to keep looking for the faults in ourselves. I am guilty of doing this – but that’s for another blog post.

I am trying my best to avoid conflict… not because I am a “good” person. I am just a human. I am friendly enough, I like to see people happy, I try to be fair and I was brought up to be polite – but again, I am a human and occasionally the human in me is a beast. Another blog post. I am trying to avoid conflict for my own peace of mind! This is why I like me.

I like talking to me. I make myself laugh. I cuss myself out. My maladaptive daydreaming means me, myself and I go on the wildest adventures without ever having to physically move. My imagination is awesomazing. If I get in conflict with myself, we going to work it out. I don’t need to worry about me not talking to me tomorrow, me gossiping about me or me being sometime-ish with me. I have my own back. 

I am my own best friend. I enjoy my solitude. Do I get lonely? Yes, at times! But one day I will have the perfect balance. The universe knows my heart’s desires and what is best for me. Everything in it’s time, I humbly do with what I got, I will wait – until she, the universe, delivers… and I promise you, she will deliver!

I tell people I am only social online. I overstand the power of engagement and there are three reasons I wield it.
1. To make money 2. To be able to encourage and support those that might need and want me 3. To get encouragement and support from those who I want and need.

PLUS… I have met some really cool people in the last year of my Rebel Jewel journey. Individuals who I genuinely love and care for. Individuals who have breathed life into me more than I could ever imagined or felt like I deserved.

Yet…

The more I observe, the less I want to be online… other than to share my business posts and go. 

I appreciate all those who support me (gosh golly.. even the one’s who think they are punishing me when they don’t! THANK YOU…because of you, I push even harder). I tell you what, if this social media life means I have to give my soul away, bite my tongue, play pretend with people whose energy I really don’t match with, I would rather shut down everything and go straight into hermit mode. That’s what I am seeking to avoid, as it has been my go-to solution for many years. I can’t keep running when this SM life becomes challenging and overwhelming, and I know I serve a purpose higher than self.

This is my post for today.

Be blessed x

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