My Own Best Friend. If I can’t speak to myself, who can I talk to?
I promised myself that I would try and write a blog post a day. Today, I chose self-expression!
With my blog, it’s not a back and forth dialogue with anyone, giving my energy to the world and they either accept it or they don’t.
I found communicating directly with others these days can be stressful. The feeling of like tippy-toeing with my words.
Do I come across too happy? Am I too nonchalant? Will I offend them? Did they take what I say the wrong way? Shiiiiiit, will I take what they say the wrong way?
Then… Some people are ACTIVELY looking for the faults in us, whilst simultaneously training us to keep looking for the faults in ourselves. I am guilty of doing this – but that’s for another blog post.
I am trying my best to avoid conflict… not because I am a “good” person. Just a human. Friendly enough, I like to see people happy, trying to be fair and I was brought up to be polite – but again, am I not a human? Occasionally this human is a beast. Another blog post again. Strangely, I do try to avoid conflict for my own peace of mind, but in some ways, I am a controversial person with a controversial personality that has controversial viewpoints, so conflict is inevitable, at times! This is why I like me.
P.S When you discussing me, I prefer the word QUIRKY!
I like talking to me. Making myself laugh and I even cuss myself out. My maladaptive daydreaming means me, myself and I go on the wildest adventures without ever having to physically move. This imagination is awesomazing. If I get in conflict with myself, we going to work it out. I don’t need to worry about me not talking to me tomorrow, me gossiping about me or me being sometime-ish with me. Sis has her own back.
I am my own best friend who enjoys my solitude way too much. Do I get lonely? Yes, at times! But one day I will have a perfect balance. The universe knows my heart’s desires and what is best for me. Everything in its time, I humbly do with what I got and wait – until she, the universe, delivers… and I promise you, she will deliver!
My social media presence is to 1. Make money 2. Be able to encourage and support those that might need and want me 3. Get encouragement and support from those who I want and need.
PLUS… I have met some really cool people in the last year of my Rebel Jewel journey. Individuals who I genuinely love and care for. Individuals who have breathed life into me more than I could ever imagine or felt like I deserved.
The more I observe, the less I want to be online… other than to share my business posts and go.
* I took out this whole section because I thought to myself, Roch you are doing the most – I will just simplify it to heathen * My Own Best Friend continued…
Example 2, I took out the first example ? the businesses that want your support but are super tight and stingy on when and how they give it to you. I know in the realm of Social Media, it’s very hard to get around to everyone and still put the right energy into your home, family, business, career etc … okay, fair enough but do not expect others to be loyal to you, and show up for you at the drop of a hat, when you have no loyalty for them. The buzzword narcissist is going around now. I don’t think it necessarily applies in this situation, but it might help with my SEO. ?
Excuse me Mam/Sir, I rather you out of my sphere altogether if you bring confusion into my life… and if you are confused about me and do not want to support me, please do not!!! BOUNCE!!! Let’s do each other both a favour, so we don’t have to play snake games and behave unrighteously.
So that we are clear – your energy and business are, most certainly, not more important to me, than my own.
I appreciate all those who support me! My Own Best Friend doesn’t mean I am not great friends with others.
THANK YOU…because of you, I push even harder… but I tell you what, if this social media life means I have to give my soul away, bite my tongue, play pretend with people whose energy I really don’t match with, I would rather not. Knowing me, one day I could wake up and give everyone a tongue lashing and tell them to go **** themselves. Yet, I am also prone to shutting down and going into hermit mode. That’s what I am actively seeking to avoid. I do not want to do either. As they have been my go-to solution for many years. I can’t keep running when this SM life because it becomes challenging and overwhelming, besides I know I serve a purpose higher than myself. * You know someone rolled their eyes right here… LOL!*
Have I made mistakes in the past and crossed boundaries that I should not have? – YEP! These memories haunt me frequently because it is not who I am trying to be. I never want to see myself as the backbiting, two-faced, gossiping hypocrite but at the same time, I am only human, I will make mistakes, but I promise, I am actively trying to be a better person.
This is my post for today.
Be blessed x
My Own Best Friend.